Friday, February 6, 2009

First Freaky Friday

It is Friday ladies and gentlemen! That means rest, relaxation, randomosity and good times all around! To kickoff to the weekend, as of today I'll be starting a feature called "Freaky Friday". I will be posting the most awkard, inexplicable pictures I can get my hands on. Some have explanations, but many are up for interpretation- feel free to comment with your own explanations or email suggestions for next week!

The only reason this is of interest is because it is A DOG. Now while I don't condone cosmetics or the dying of fur on pets(I do, however, fully support awful haircuts), this is adorable. Is that a Chow?

Former Guiness World Record holder for largest breast implants Maxi Mounds has been surpassed by Sheyla Hershey. Her breasts weigh approximately 20lbs apiece. Hershey was even forced to make the voyage to South America to implants that large due to Texas laws prohibiting that much saline. Ouch.

And finally, our WTF? of the day. Explain it for me. Because I have no idea.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

420 I.M.

Day two of Blog-o-Rama and I've kept up the pace, fought the good fight, on my way to a gold medal. I absolutely conquered two tests I barely studied for. I also managed not to kill my cat after she stole my jewelry box, dropped my earrings everywhere, and spilled both a cup of coffee and can of Fresca on my floor. This is a feat indeed.

Now, I must say I can't blame her for seeking revenge on me. I did give her the most horrendous hair cut the world has seen since right after Rosie O'Donnell came out the closet.

Don't judge me people- it was all done with the best of intentions. Here's the story… Last week we had a Rat Terrier named Toby stay with us for a while to help out his owner. Patricia (yes, that's my cat's name, not our peri-menopausal, slightly overweight neighbor) seemed to like him. I even convinced myself I saw moments of inter-species snuggling happen, though I did not take into account the fact that young Toby isn't fixed. Then it started- the hair. Clumps of it. HUGE clumps of it. Everywhere! We started watching her more closely and eventually caught her tearing out her fur with her teeth. Being a part-time cat psychologist as well as cat dermatologist I decided it was a mixture of canine induced stress and possibly due to the fact that I sprayed her with perfume a few days before. I decided I would cut off some hair around the most popular areas to stop her from "grooming". Here's the result:

It's so stylish! Very Victoria Beckham-asymmetrical.

I don't know why I decided to only cut off half of her hair. Maybe it was her wiggling, or the mass amounts of fur, or maybe it was the fact that my Harry Potter scissors from 9th grade weren't sharp enough. Regardless, she now looks like a cross between Raggedy Ann, a patchwork quilt, and a porcupine. Poor thing.

But her woes barely compare to Michael Phelps, Olympic gold medalist and former American sweetheart. Caught on camera smoking a bong last week, Phelps is now facing possible criminal charges and is also facing the possibility of losing many of his multiple sponsorships and endorsement deals. Though Speedo and Omega haven't dropped him, Kellog's is another story, having dropped him today.

What I don't understand is why a food company would drop an endorser who is photographed smoking marijuana of all drugs. Take Speedo for instance- If an athlete sits around all day smoking weed, he wouldn't have the energy or lung capacity to hop into a fresh, binding, tiny pair of Speedos and hop into the pool. Or Omega- If an athlete spends all of his money on buying expensive weed, let's say White Widow just for kicks, he wouldn't have the money to buy a designer watch. But what is the #1 best friend of a stoner? Food! I don't get it.

Here's my advice though, Michael. Hop right back into the pool and you'll be fine in no time. Instead of reeking of bong water you'll once again reek of chlorine water. Go for the Gold, don't go for the Green. Sorry that you've lost the respect of some fans and millions in endorsements- somehow I think you'll survive though. But in the end if you don't and you're feeling down, comfort yourself with the fact that at least you got caught smoking a ROOR.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Sick > Dead

Today was a day filled with fever, coughing, and deliciously swollen tonsils for myself and many peers as a lovely epidemic of strep throat, tonsillitis, and other yummy diseases ravaged the countryside. At least we Virginians weren't affected by the apparent Zombie and Raptor epidemic that struck Texas and Indiana. Instead of using my day of infectious free time to study for my two tests tomorrow, I decided to start this lovely blog! Procrastination, like many other forms of masochism, is oh so fun when correctly instituted. Hopefully this blog will be a daily thing, but I make no guarantees. But please, adoring public, don't set your hopes too high; we all remember what happened with the Twilight film. Anyways, the few moments of joy I experienced today whilst serving as the Middle Earth-like battlefield for my immunity war were discovering these info nuggets:

~TV On the Radio is performing on Saturday Night Live this Saturday, 2/7/2008. I just love this band. I listened to them after Rolling Stone put them as #1 on their Top 50 Albums of 2008, and I subsequently fell in love, downloading Dear Science, Return to Cookie Mountain and every other track I could get my hands on.

~Valentine's Day is only 10 days away, which is normally depressing. Then I saw these online and I realized I am one of few sane women that I know my age:

~Obama voted to move the Analog to Digital television transmission transition (that's a tongue twister) to June 12th instead of February 17th. Which means that since my lazy behind refused to send in a form for a converter box rebate I would have had to buy one myself within a couple weeks. But since I'm moving in May anyways, now I don't have to buy one before June, if at all. Thanks Obama! It almost makes me wish I had voted for you (or anyone for that matter). To celebrate, I got an official Obamanicure. Et, voila:

Cute, right?

~Have you heard about Christian Bale's meltdown on the set of Terminator: Salvation yet? If not, you must listen to it (Note: It is not safe for work, and is *extremely* foul language-filled. Please don't listen to it if R-Rated language offends you). I have never been so offended on behalf of someone else, namely the director of photography… or so amused. My favorite line is "Seriously man, me and you, we're effin' done professionally." That in itself is very entertaining for a Batman fan like me. Then today I was introduced to the Techno Remix. It's so danceably divaliscious. I can't decide whether I hate him or want to marry him. Meanwhile, don't you just love hearing his Welsh accent coming out?

So, folks, this is all I can offer you tonight, but fret not. More awkwardness, randomosity, quirkiness, and mirth is to come. As a final piece of entertainment for tonight, though, feast your eyes on this.